Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize