How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
