I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
