I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
