Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
