and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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