when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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