i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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