I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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