guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
