uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You did what with his pubic hair?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
