i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
