Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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