She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
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