It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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