I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize