I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
