just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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