hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
