he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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