I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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