my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
