I saw his package. It spoke to me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
