I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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