i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize