CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
