I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize