yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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