Dual....:-)
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
