I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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