this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
