if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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