I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
