Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
