When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
