This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
