he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
