do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
