party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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