What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
