What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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