Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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