i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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