i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
