smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
