So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
