And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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