Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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