Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
