I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
