he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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