oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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