READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize