where am i from again
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
