So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
