Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
