She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
